山葵ノ心

1

Artistic pics from last weekend's dinner w A.
No, but could I draw your attention to that un-beautiful wasabi heart?

I have some thoughts about that incident, but first it's story time.

A. had heard of a goodlooking guy doing sushi at that bar, so we went to check him out. (Ok, screw that version, actually he's a buddy of my older bro, so she 'heard' it from me haha).

We entered and had to wait for a bit because there were no free tables, thus we had to slack around at the entrance with drinks.
Then we were guided to our table, which actually was more like a long bench.

The owner of the restaurant asked me to follow her suddenly, I didn't get what was going on, but did as she said. Turns out she just guided me all around the long bench to my seat.
But because my place had an unimpeded view of the bar and aforementioned handsome guy, hereby called S, while the other place was with one's back to it, A wanted to swap places. Which was quite an undertaking.

We ordered our stuff and received this plate which - to our amusement - came with this wasabi heart.
Later we received matcha ice cream for free.

While we were dealing with our generous dessert real quick, cuz it was about time the restaurant closed, the owner approached us and asked where we were from.
When we told her that we were both not locals, she yelled across the restaurant, 'Oh my god, boys, those two beauties not locals lah!!! Oh my god, girls, the guys were eyeing you two forever, wondering where you're from!! They even complain why not sit at the bar!!! Aiyo, I say got place already lucky enough liao! etc etc'
And said boys, i.e. the whole staff were sitting alongside another bench which was facing us from the left~
Imagine this, they were watching us like a movie!!! This has to be next-level embarrassing!! I just put my hair to one side and looked into the other direction /shakes head


Later A. told me sth about a family w a young kid sitting at the bar talking to the sushi guys and looking at us (or so).
Then our waiter came to pick up our plate, turned around to serve us, but stopping midway looking at the place. He turned back to the sushi chefs like 'seriously guys?!', but when those didn't really react, proceded to serve us our food.

HAHAHAHAHA! Isn't that hilarious!!! I'm still lmfao-ing when I imagine those stupid guys kneading the fucking wasabi into a heart and the waiter's reaction!! Bwahahaha

Anyway the family was also observing our reaction and smiled at my friend when they saw that she saw the heart!!!

Actually a quite funny story right?
But when I think back I have a bad feeling about the heart-shaped wasabi....

It was the first thing I noticed on the plate, different from my friend who said that she didn't notice it at all.

Now this really bothers me. Because I kinda have the feeling that it was the first thing I spotted, because somehow somewhere I expected it(?!)
And how conceited would that fucking be?!
It's disgusting!!!!

I don't even think I am pretty! I can be pretty during 1 out of 100.000 seconds and that's it!!! But most of the time I'm quite ugly even...


Also for my friend it was quite a big deal and we discussed the heart for quite a while, but had it been just me, or me dining with myself I wouldn't have given the heart any thoughts at all I think, because, I'm kinda used to those sort of happenings!!!
Getting stuffs on the house, one sushi roll more than usual, sushi in a heart shape, or even just a mischievous wink from the chef - that's kinda the same for me

Which is also dam conceited!!!!
For one it makes you feel special, but I also think it's not uncommon, especially for sushi chefs to deliver 'secret' messages with their sushi art, right?


But how arrogant does it make you if you take such things for granted... or rather find them so normal you don't really take notice of them at all?!


I don't want to be a bitch who thinks she deserves to be treated like that!!!!
And I don't, god forbid, I don't ever!!!!


But I think it's also kind of an automatic protective mechanism of my psyche, cuz if I cared too much about such compliments, I'd go insane, cuz I'd feel incredibly uncomfortable (I hate compliments, which is the subject of another of my countless self-absorbed blog posts).
So maybe it's that?


It's still stupid, but at least it doesn't make me a loathsome person!!
I hate arrogance (except it's some tsundere ikemen haha)


HiAaZz... to even feel that those things are somewhat 'normal'.. As I said, I am not pretty, but admittedly, those things kind of happen 'often' to me.
Which I wouldn't dare to say so myself, but on that night, my friend said, 'Those things only happen to me when I'm with you!' (which is seldom enough)....
But since I'm not pretty, I think there's an 'attention-seeking way' about my demeanour... which I swear by god is never my intention!!!!

I think it's because I feel kinda insecure, especially when I'm in an unfamiliar environment, I want to appear confident and kinda make a big fuss out of my appearance (not with big actions, but in every small action I kinda put that extra bit of in-whatever-way-ever-so-slightly-unconscious-attention-seeking-something, that will catch people's eye ._.).
And - btw men tend to easily confuse a conspicuous woman with a pretty one.... Men are so so dumb~ Let's say a super tasteless dressed woman with bright sparkly orange-purple snakeskin top, short, tight jeans skirt and slut heels is at a club, among normally sexy dressed girls, men will all swoon over the bitch with the lapse of taste, despite her ugliness and despite all other girls being (1000 times more) pretty!!!

So yeah, men confuse that in my case I think.... But it's all... like every other thing only a theory out of 1.000.000.
But that sounds really plausible to me now that I think about it....



That's it!
Please excuse the really LQ ugly pics, I forgot my cam and took those w my phone, which takes lousy pics when exposure is bad.
Chu, Ailing